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Humor Have some funny jokes or stories? All is fair game except political, religious or too explicit.

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Old 12-15-2012, 11:40 AM   #1
Don Sims
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info Speeding ticket

Two Texas Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on Highway 77, just south of Kingsville, Texas. One of the officers was using a hand-held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the town of Kingsville.

The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour and climbing. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then it suddenly turned off. Just then a deafening roar over the mesquite tree tops on Highway 77 revealed that the radar had in fact, locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low-flying exercise near this, its Naval Air home base location in Kingsville, Texas.

Back at the Texas Highway Patrol Headquarters in Corpus Christi the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the U. S. Naval Base Commander in Kingsville for shutting down his equipment. The reply came back in true USMC style:

"Thank you for your letter . . .

"You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down." "Furthermore, an air-to-ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment's location." "Fortunately, the marine pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position on the side o Highway 77, south of Kingsville."

"The pilot suggests you cover your mouths when swearing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech."

"Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left molar. It appears the filling is loose.

Also, the snap is broken on his holster."

Semper Fi

Take care and thanks for posting at WattFlyer!!

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Old 12-15-2012, 04:04 PM   #2
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Like it ...

Here's another :

Guys driving home from a venue and gets stopped for speeding.

Traffic cop says to guy : Sir - it's late, I'm due of shift and you have just made it I'll be late.

Guy : Sorry Officer ... I really didn't mean to speed ...

Cop : Stop it now sir - we hear all this every time and it gets a bit boring to be honest.

Guy : Sorry Officer.

Cop : Well I tell you what ... seeing as it's end of shift and if you can give me an ORGINAL reason for speeding that I have not heard before ... I'll let you go.

Guy thinks about it and then says : Well Officer ... a while back my wife left me and I found out it was to a Policeman ..... i saw your car behind me and I speeded up thinking it was him trying to GIVE HER BACK !!

Cop : On your way sir !!

Nigel

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Old 12-15-2012, 09:02 PM   #3
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I thought the F-18 Raptor was supposed to be the state of the art stealth aircraft?

Oh well, at least the surveillance equipment works

"Give a man a plane and he'll fly for a day.
Teach a man to build a plane and he'll fly for a lifetime"
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Old 12-16-2012, 01:33 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by FlyWheel View Post
I thought the F-18 Raptor was supposed to be the state of the art stealth aircraft?

Oh well, at least the surveillance equipment works
I read F18 - Hornet .......

As regards the Raptor and F35 .... suggest read the 'true' report of the military air-games conducted while back in Asia ... not a good advertisement for either ....

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