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Humor Have some funny jokes or stories? All is fair game except political, religious or too explicit.

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Old 01-19-2013, 11:01 AM   #1
Don Sims
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Lightbulb Last trip to costco

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it
works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say

Take care and thanks for posting at WattFlyer!!

Don
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Old 01-19-2013, 11:53 AM   #2
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Good One Don

I may be getting Older, But I Refuse to grow Up I am Having to much Fun to Grow Up LOL
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Old 01-19-2013, 12:03 PM   #3
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I have the strange urge to go to Costco now....
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Old 01-19-2013, 02:26 PM   #4
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way to go don!!

thats an example of the saying"somtimes i just think of funny thoughts"

narrow is the place to land...wide is the space to crash....choose the narrow way!
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Old 01-19-2013, 02:48 PM   #5
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Sounds like fun!

2012 SEFF Night Bowling Champion!
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