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Humor Have some funny jokes or stories? All is fair game except political, religious or too explicit.

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Old 08-25-2014, 08:30 PM   #1
NJSwede
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Default NJSwede vs. the boar (true story)

GlacierGirl's story (http://www.wattflyer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=74352) about the near gator attack reminded me of something that happened to me about 15 years ago. I didn't want to hijack his thread, so I'm posting it here.

Many years ago, I used to live in southern France. My former wife's parents had a nice house with a swimming pool and I was hanging out on a lazy Sunday. My ex and her parents were going to town and were going to be away for a few hours and I was left alone on a wonderful sunny Provencal afternoon. Time for a swim! But alas, I had no swimwear, so I decided to get in the pool, shall we say, the way God created me. After all, the pool area was completely surrounded by palm trees and the closest neighbor was a quarter mile away.

I was swimming in my birthday suit for a while but finally got tired of the pool and went to dry off in the sun. I must have dozed off, because the next thing I remember is a loud "OINK OINK!". And there, a few feet away from me, was a huge wild boar. As you probably know, those guys are pretty mean and can easily kill a person. So I started running, and running, the boar took me away from the pool area, into an open yard and close to some of the neighbors. I must have mustered super-human strengths, because after a couple of minutes, I had made a large loop around the yard and had put enough space between me and the boar that I was able to safely get into the house.

To this day, I don't know if anyone saw me. But I kind of hope they did. A very scared naked guy running from a boar must be quite a sight and it would be a waste if no one got to enjoy it!

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