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|09-16-2011, 11:01 PM||#1|
Grandpa, Golfer, Pilot
Join Date: May 2007
Thanked 110 Times in 110 Posts
My doctor's advise
> A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on
> exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart
> not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving
> faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
> Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
> A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is
> distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get
> even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain.
> Bottom up!
> Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
> A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two
> bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
> Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
> A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!
> Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
> A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil.
> In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more
> vegetable be bad for you?!?
> Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
> A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You
> should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
> Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
> A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It
> best feel-good food around!
> Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
> A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
> Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
> A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
> Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
> And remember:
> Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
> in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways -
> a beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,
> totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!"
> For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
> It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
> 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
> 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
> 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
> 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..
> 5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
> Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Helicopters don't really fly.......
They're just so ugly, that the earth repels them.
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