Newsflash - Wife 1.0 released ...

[solentlife]

NEWSFLASH ………… WIFE 1.0 NOW RELEASED
Last year a friend of mine upgraded Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog, leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He’s finding that some applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Beer Bash 2.5 and Pub Night 7.0 are no longer able to run, crashing the system when selected, even though they always worked fine previously. At installation, Wife 1.0 automatically installs undesired plug-ins, such as Mother in Law 55.8 and Brother in Law Beta release. As a consequence system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features my friend would like to see in upcoming Wife 2.0

A ‘don’t remind me again’ button
Minimize button
An install feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of Cache and other system resources.

I myself decided to avoid all the headaches associated with Wife 1.0, by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here I had problems ….
Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this has been a longstanding bug and I should have been aware of it.
Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think such a stupid bug would have been fixed by now!
To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 does not work well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another annoying problem … All versions of Girlfriend continually pop-up annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0, these cannot be disabled.

Bug warning :

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug …. If you try and install Mistress 1.0 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete all MS Money files before executing a self-uninstallation.
Then Mistress 1.0 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient system resources.

Bug-workaround :

To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.0 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0
Also beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0
Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1 via a Usenet provider under an anonymous name. Here again beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the Usenet.

Tip of the day !

Most women prefer men with large Ram and Cache availability.