A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of a cave. The Game Warden was hot on his heels.
After about a half mile, the young boy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him.
"Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the W arden gasped.
With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.
"Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"
"Yes, sir," replied the young guy, "but my friend back there ... well, he don't have one."
Retired and the days are just too short, busier than ever!
Same game: A cop is waiting outside a pub for drinking drivers at closing time. Sure enough, this guy comes staggering out, looks around for awhile, then approaches a a car with his keys in his hand. Fumbles around at the back door of the car, eventually gets to the front door, but the key doesn't fit. Tries various other keys without success. Cop figures this is the target for tonight. Other customers come out, and drive off.
Drunk finally figures out that this is the wrong car, and wanders around the parking lot looking for his own car. Others come out of the pub, and away they go. Soon, the lot is nearly empty and the drunk finally settles on one car, and the key fits. He gets in, turns on the headlights, turns them off again. Finally finds the ignition and, after awhile, gets the key in.
By now, the lot is down to one guy in one car. Drunk looks around, and starts the car, heads for the exit. At last! The cop turns on the lights and siren, pulls the guy over as soon as they are on the road. He walks over to the car, and, to his surprise, the guy has his license and insurance out. "Out of the car, buddy", and hauls out the breathaliser. The guy blows zero. Not a drop to drink. Pure.
"Okay what's going on here? I would swear you are drunk! You go noplace until you explain this!" "Got ya. I'm tonight's decoy drunk..."