View Full Version : Southern Humor

Don Sims
03-23-2006, 12:34 AM
Things are just plain funnier when you live in the South!!!

Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a
sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?"

"Jes' some chickens."

"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"

"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!"

"OK. Ummmmm...five?"


An Alabaman came home and found his house on fire.

He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry
over here--muh house is on fahr!"

"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

He replied, "Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"


Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?

Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.


Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator told Bubba that
she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive. "Can you spell that for
me?" asked the operator.

After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street
and you pick her up there?"


Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Texas to 32?

They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.


What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?



Where was the toothbrush invented?

Arkansas. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a


Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Georgia State Lottery?

The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.


A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple gets
divorced, they're still brother and sister.


What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in
Florida have in common?

No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.


How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?

When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and the
person at the front desk says, "Go ahead."