View Full Version : Understanding Engineers

03-27-2006, 05:37 PM
Understanding Engineers - Take One:
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two:
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three:
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. Hi, George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters who lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea and I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four:
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over thirty years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion-dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. Finally, at the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and said, "This is where your problem is." The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
When the company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service, they demanded an itemized accounting.
The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1. Knowing where to put it $49,999.
The bill was paid in full, and the engineer retired again in peace.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five:
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons.
Civil Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Six:
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven:
"Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."
Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight:
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?" they asked.
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

03-27-2006, 06:18 PM
Take 5 is perfect! Nice one.

03-27-2006, 08:23 PM
HE, HE, HE! :D

Number six is not bad either. :eek:

03-27-2006, 08:34 PM
I work with engineers everyday and they all fit. I will print this off and see what happens when they read it if I have job after tuesday I work at the proving grounds for GM and tuesday is head chopping day.
Dave T.

03-27-2006, 09:33 PM
Sounds like a great plan!:cool:

(Questions from my Nephews)Uncle Dave are you going to crash today?:confused: We like when you crash:eek:

I love your choice of signatures! Dave Bronk had a blast with that little SE5 and his nephews last year. It would make him laugh to see someone using a quote that originated with him.:D

03-28-2006, 01:12 AM
Actually I got that from my nephews before I found wattflyer. I was flying out back in my brothers field and they both walked up and said that to me.
I had crashed a day before when my tx battery went bad and I went straight in the ground with my eagle II.
Dave T.

03-28-2006, 02:13 AM
I sent it via e-mail to several friends of mine. Some are electrical engineer while one other is a mechanical engineer. All were amused and some forwarded the thing to other engineer friends of theirs. :)

03-28-2006, 02:21 AM
Definitely three and seven.:D