View Full Version : Three quick jokes

Don Sims
04-27-2006, 02:34 AM
A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!" Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.

He asks the man his name. "Fred," he replies.

"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the
fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The
officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have
a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on
his hands but plays along with it.

"Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"
The man replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me."

"I was born Fred Dingaling. I know -- a funny last name. The kids
used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard,
and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor.

I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and
finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.

"After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back
to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got
my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.

"Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my
assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS,
with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I
was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA
taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving
me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I
am Just Fred."
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.