Search: Posts Made By: Don Sims
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Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 01:55 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 2,289
Posted By Don Sims

info What do you call a Hammerhead Shark who's...

What do you call a Hammerhead Shark who's operating a Drill Rig? A Flathead Screw driver.
Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 01:53 PM
Replies: 121
Yep
Views: 1,852
Posted By Don Sims

Cool A kid is failing English, and the teacher sends...

A kid is failing English, and the teacher sends multiple notes home requesting to speak with his parents but doesn't get a response.

One Saturday, the teacher decides to stop by the kid's house....
Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 01:42 PM
Replies: 256
Views: 13,920
Posted By Don Sims

Post New viruses Coming to a hard drive near you,...

New viruses

Coming to a hard drive near you, the worst computer viruses yet:

AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you’re getting.

MCI Virus: Every three minutes it...
Forum: Humor
12-03-2022, 02:35 PM
Replies: 256
Views: 13,920
Posted By Don Sims

I went to an I.T.-themed restaurant the other...

I went to an I.T.-themed restaurant the other day. It had motherboards on the walls, the place mats looked like keyboards, the cutlery had USB sticks for handles, you get the idea.

But the...
Forum: Humor
12-03-2022, 02:32 PM
Replies: 256
Views: 13,920
Posted By Don Sims

info A physics teacher writes a question on a board ...

A physics teacher writes a question on a board

"A 40 kg child that is 100 cm tall is holding a parent's arms swinging them 0.5 revolutions a second. If the parent let go of the child after 2...
Forum: Humor
12-03-2022, 02:30 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 2,289
Posted By Don Sims

Red face Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says,...

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says, “Do you smell fish?”
Forum: Humor
12-03-2022, 02:27 PM
Replies: 121
Yep
Views: 1,852
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation The family was keen to find a name for our little...

The family was keen to find a name for our little sailboat, inspired by joyful times in warm California Summer weather. Citrus fruits sprung to mind, and a few brand names.

But I don't think a...
Forum: Humor
12-02-2022, 01:45 PM
Replies: 256
Views: 13,920
Posted By Don Sims

Question What do you call a metric cookie? A gram...

What do you call a metric cookie?

A gram cracker.
Forum: Humor
12-01-2022, 11:31 AM
Replies: 256
Views: 13,920
Posted By Don Sims

A driver in England stops for a hitchhiker. The...

A driver in England stops for a hitchhiker. The hitchhiker is a Dalek.

Driver: Where ya headed, mate?

Dalek: Devon, mate.

Driver: That's where I'm going. Where in Devon?

Dalek: Exeter,...
Forum: Humor
12-01-2022, 11:30 AM
Replies: 115
Views: 2,289
Posted By Don Sims

Post Why is yeast a popular microorganism? Because...

Why is yeast a popular microorganism? Because he's a fun-guy
Forum: Humor
12-01-2022, 11:19 AM
Replies: 121
Yep
Views: 1,852
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation It was the end of the school year, and a teacher...

It was the end of the school year, and a teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florists son handed her a wrapped gift. She gently shook it, held it overhead and said, "I bet I know what...
Forum: Humor
11-30-2022, 01:27 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 2,289
Posted By Don Sims

Website....We use cookies to improve performance....

Website....We use cookies to improve performance. Me...Same.
Forum: Humor
11-29-2022, 12:34 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 2,289
Posted By Don Sims

Angry I lost my job as a wine taster. I was fired for...

I lost my job as a wine taster. I was fired for not drinking on the job.
Forum: Humor
11-29-2022, 12:29 PM
Replies: 256
Views: 13,920
Posted By Don Sims

Question 100 is a nice round number The European is...

100 is a nice round number

The European is visiting the United States for the first time: So how many cents in a dollar?

The American: 100, of course

The European: 100? Why not 62*, or 37*?...
Forum: Humor
11-29-2022, 12:12 PM
Replies: 121
Yep
Views: 1,852
Posted By Don Sims

Question I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let...

I ordered a chicken and an egg online.
I’ll let you know what comes first.
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen?
Because it’s pointless.
Why...
Forum: Humor
11-27-2022, 02:01 PM
Replies: 256
Views: 13,920
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are...

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trapped underground in a collapsed mine.

After some exploring of the area, they come across three rations of canned food that they all agree will...
Forum: Humor
11-27-2022, 01:56 PM
Replies: 121
Yep
Views: 1,852
Posted By Don Sims

A couple of nights ago my wife and I decided to...

A couple of nights ago my wife and I decided to go to a local pub and have a couple of drinks and listen to music. On the way home I looked in the rear view mirror to see blue lights flashing.
I...
Forum: Humor
11-27-2022, 01:54 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 2,289
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because her...

Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because her mom and dad were in a jam.
Forum: Humor
11-26-2022, 02:22 PM
Replies: 121
Yep
Views: 1,852
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb A turtle walks into a bar. He sits down and gets...

A turtle walks into a bar. He sits down and gets ready to order.
The bartender goes, "You're looking a little GREEN there friend, need some Ginger Ale?"
Everyone started laughing.
The turtle...
Forum: Humor
11-26-2022, 02:18 PM
Replies: 121
Yep
Views: 1,852
Posted By Don Sims

Unhappy I got arrested today - apparently it's "illegal"...

I got arrested today - apparently it's "illegal" to shave, brush your teeth, make a phone call, take a nap, have a glass of wine and read a newspaper.
Driving stinks nowadays...
Forum: Humor
11-26-2022, 02:12 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 2,289
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review We got our Seasonal bulk in at work today and got...

We got our Seasonal bulk in at work today and got Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil. It's for Autumnmobiles
Forum: Humor
11-19-2022, 01:37 PM
Replies: 256
Views: 13,920
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review A mathematician, physicist and an engineer... ...

A mathematician, physicist and an engineer...

... are trying to determine the height of a building.

The mathematician tries to calculate the height of the building by using angle of elevation....
Forum: Humor
11-19-2022, 01:36 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 2,289
Posted By Don Sims

info The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but...

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blown away by the leaf blower.
Forum: Humor
11-19-2022, 01:35 PM
Replies: 121
Yep
Views: 1,852
Posted By Don Sims

Red face My wife sent me a text saying, “Your the best!” ...

My wife sent me a text saying, “Your the best!”

To which I replied, “No, you’re the best!”

She’s been on cloud 9 ever since, feeling so loved and in love.

I don’t have the heart to tell her...
Forum: Humor
11-18-2022, 01:19 PM
Replies: 256
Views: 13,920
Posted By Don Sims

Interviewer: You said you are quick in...

Interviewer: You said you are quick in mathematics, could you tell me what is a two hundred and fifty times eighty divided by sixty nine?

Man: Six thousand eight hundred and forty five.
...
Forum: Humor
11-18-2022, 01:17 PM
Replies: 256
Views: 13,920
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs down Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger suffered...

Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger suffered from a debilitating bowel condition that would often result in him soiling himself unexpectedly.

However, it was impossible for him to tell when he...
Forum: Humor
11-18-2022, 01:12 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 2,289
Posted By Don Sims

info What Does a Shark Call a Surfboard? A serve board.

What Does a Shark Call a Surfboard? A serve board.
Forum: Humor
11-18-2022, 01:10 PM
Replies: 121
Yep
Views: 1,852
Posted By Don Sims

Red face One day in October, Humpty Dumpty went to the...

One day in October, Humpty Dumpty went to the clothes store...

He picks out a nice sweater, a couple pair of socks, a coat, etc. He pays for them and leaves.

He heads out and goes to get...
Forum: Power Systems
11-18-2022, 12:37 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 215
Posted By Don Sims

Is it "Your car warrentee is about to expire?"...

Is it "Your car warrentee is about to expire?" level of truth?
Forum: Humor
11-15-2022, 01:17 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 2,289
Posted By Don Sims

info Did you know turtles have the ability to...

Did you know turtles have the ability to understand puns? I wish they would have tortoise that in school.
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500
 


 
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