Search: Posts Made By: Don Sims
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Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 12:32 PM
Replies: 172
Views: 7,252
Posted By Don Sims

Question Why can't you purchase minerals by the gallon? ...

Why can't you purchase minerals by the gallon?

They only come in quartz!
Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 12:29 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 575
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation Just burned 2,000 calories. Thatís the last time...

Just burned 2,000 calories. Thatís the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 12:27 PM
Replies: 20
Yep
Views: 314
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb A woman just had twins, a boy and a girl, and she...

A woman just had twins, a boy and a girl, and she hasn't decided yet what to name them.

Coincidentally her long lost uncle has just come into town. The mother decides, because it's such a special...
Forum: Humor
05-16-2022, 01:18 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 575
Posted By Don Sims

People who use selfie sticks really need to have...

People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.
Forum: Humor
05-16-2022, 01:16 PM
Replies: 20
Yep
Views: 314
Posted By Don Sims

Post There's a beer convention in town, and all the...

There's a beer convention in town, and all the CEOs from all the beer companies are there. During a break between seminars, a few of them went down to the hotel bar for a drink.

The Anheuser Busch...
Forum: Humor
05-16-2022, 01:10 PM
Replies: 172
Views: 7,252
Posted By Don Sims

Before invention of electricity Judge: I...

Before invention of electricity

Judge: I sentence you to death by the acoustic chair.
05-16-2022, 12:17 PM
Replies: 5,518
Views: 1,175,017
Posted By Don Sims

Welcome to the site!

Welcome to the site!
Forum: Humor
05-15-2022, 12:52 PM
Replies: 172
Views: 7,252
Posted By Don Sims

Question How many physicians do you need to interrupt the...

How many physicians do you need to interrupt the space time continuum?

It takes a paradox.
Forum: Humor
05-15-2022, 12:46 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 575
Posted By Don Sims

A told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too...

A told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
Forum: Humor
05-14-2022, 12:19 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 575
Posted By Don Sims

Question A termite walks into the bar and asks, ĎIs the...

A termite walks into the bar and asks, ĎIs the bar tender here?í
Forum: Humor
05-14-2022, 12:18 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 25
Posted By Don Sims

info Cowboy and his beer

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer...

He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them,...
Forum: Humor
05-14-2022, 12:15 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 25
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb CEO advice

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation.

The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three envelopes number 1, 2 and 3. "Open...
Forum: Humor
05-14-2022, 12:12 PM
Replies: 20
Yep
Views: 314
Posted By Don Sims

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His...

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”

The frog is thrilled!...
Forum: Humor
05-13-2022, 12:24 PM
Replies: 20
Yep
Views: 314
Posted By Don Sims

Billy Bob wanted a job as a signalman on the...

Billy Bob wanted a job as a signalman on the railways. He was told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector asked, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading for...
Forum: Humor
05-13-2022, 12:22 PM
Replies: 20
Yep
Views: 314
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review Intoxicated conversation at a bar... Patron...

Intoxicated conversation at a bar...

Patron 1: What ticks you off?

Patron 2: Nouns.

Patron 1: Nouns?

Patron 2 Yep, nouns. People, places, and things!
Forum: Humor
05-13-2022, 12:20 PM
Replies: 172
Views: 7,252
Posted By Don Sims

info How is life like an electricity? You start...

How is life like an electricity?

You start from null, you have few phases, and then comes the grounding.
Forum: Humor
05-13-2022, 12:19 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 575
Posted By Don Sims

How can you make a cow invisible? Camooflage

How can you make a cow invisible? Camooflage
Forum: Humor
05-12-2022, 12:03 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 575
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation Light travels faster than sound, which is the...

Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak.
Forum: Humor
05-12-2022, 11:59 AM
Replies: 20
Yep
Views: 314
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs up Today I saw a car parked with a bumper sticker...

Today I saw a car parked with a bumper sticker that said "I miss New York"

So I smashed his window in and stole his radio.
Forum: Humor
05-12-2022, 11:53 AM
Replies: 172
Views: 7,252
Posted By Don Sims

info A couple had their first argument after their...

A couple had their first argument after their marriage - the husband, a pediatrician arguing that the chicken came first and the wife, an OBG taking a stand that it was the egg that came first.
...
Forum: Humor
05-12-2022, 11:52 AM
Replies: 30
Views: 575
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb I asked my brother if there was any food left and...

I asked my brother if there was any food left and he said "Only if you can time travel." So I went back four seconds.
Forum: Humor
05-10-2022, 12:04 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 47
Posted By Don Sims

Angry Photos

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client.

"Dave, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "You know,...
Forum: Humor
05-10-2022, 11:59 AM
Replies: 20
Yep
Views: 314
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow I caught my son chewing on electrical cords. ...

I caught my son chewing on electrical cords.

So, I had to ground him.

He's doing better currently. And, conducting himself properly...

I know, it's shocking. But really, it's just a phase.
Forum: Humor
05-09-2022, 12:16 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 575
Posted By Don Sims

I used to think I was indecisive. But now Iím not...

I used to think I was indecisive. But now Iím not so sure.
Forum: Humor
05-09-2022, 12:15 PM
Replies: 20
Yep
Views: 314
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow A farmer owned a nice car which would get ruined...

A farmer owned a nice car which would get ruined because his chickens kept pecking the hood.

After several weeks of fuming at his chickens for making scratches and small dents in the hood of his...
Forum: Humor
05-09-2022, 12:08 PM
Replies: 172
Views: 7,252
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb Why are musicians so good with electricity? ...

Why are musicians so good with electricity?

They are always near conductors!
Forum: Humor
05-09-2022, 12:07 PM
Replies: 20
Yep
Views: 314
Posted By Don Sims

Did you hear about the author who writes using...

Did you hear about the author who writes using invisible ink?

Here's a list of his books:
Forum: Humor
05-09-2022, 11:38 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 100
Posted By Don Sims

:D :D

:D :D
Forum: Humor
05-08-2022, 10:40 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 61
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs down Camping

A couple of years ago I went out camping in the woods with a few of my friends. It was a dark and stormy night, and we felt very alone in our little tent, so we started telling scary stories.

I...
Forum: Humor
05-08-2022, 10:37 AM
Replies: 30
Views: 575
Posted By Don Sims

Red face I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I...

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500
 


 
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