Search: Posts Made By: Don Sims
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Forum: Humor
Today, 12:09 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

info The teenager lost a contact lens while playing...

The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a brief, fruitless search, he gave up. His mother took up the cause and within minutes found the lens.

“How did you...
Forum: Humor
08-15-2022, 12:18 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

A golfer walkes into the bar at the country club...

A golfer walkes into the bar at the country club and in a very hoarse voice asks for a beer. The bartender asks "what's wrong with your voice? You didn't sound like that earlier."
The golfer says...
Forum: Humor
08-15-2022, 12:10 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

An American walks into an Irish pub. He asks the...

An American walks into an Irish pub. He asks the patrons, "I'll bet $500 that none of you can drink 10 pints of Guinness in 10 minutes."

People raise their heads but ignore the absurd bet and go...
Forum: Humor
08-09-2022, 12:39 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Post Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a...

Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun, and one brought nothing but a few cough drops.

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly...
Forum: Humor
08-08-2022, 12:09 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Three guys go hunting. The first guy, from...

Three guys go hunting.

The first guy, from Georgia, walks off from the hunting camp and returns an hour later with a deer.

The other two hunters ask him how he did it.

"Found the tracks,...
Forum: Humor
08-08-2022, 12:06 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Question Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? So they...

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?

So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
Forum: Humor
08-05-2022, 12:35 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb A psychiatrist is evaluating three new mental...

A psychiatrist is evaluating three new mental patients. He turns to the first one and asks, "How much is 3 times 3?"

The mental patient thinks and thinks. He racks his brain. Finally, after...
Forum: Humor
08-05-2022, 12:29 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Talking Three men were sitting together bragging about...

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties at home.

The first man had married a woman from Georgia and had told her that she was going to do dishes...
Forum: Humor
07-29-2022, 11:53 AM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

info There was once a woman called Patricia Whack ...

There was once a woman called Patricia Whack

She worked in a bank and generally dealt with secured loans. One day she calls for her next appointment when a frog hops into the room and sits on the...
Forum: Humor
07-27-2022, 01:06 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Unhappy An ancient married couple visits a divorce...

An ancient married couple visits a divorce attorney

"So you want to get divorced? Exactly how long have you been married?" the lawyer asks.

The husband looks out the window and mumbles "72...
Forum: Humor
07-25-2022, 01:31 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

A New Yorker, a Nebraskan, a Georgian, and a...

A New Yorker, a Nebraskan, a Georgian, and a Floridian were driving to Vegas...

After a few hours in the car, the Nebraskan suddenly rolls down his window, opens his bag, and starts chucking corn...
Forum: Humor
07-25-2022, 01:28 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Red face (Purportedly a joke that Abraham Lincoln told) ...

(Purportedly a joke that Abraham Lincoln told)

There was an American ambassador to England after the revolutionary war, and his bitter hosts wanted to antagonize him.

So they got a portrait of...
Forum: Humor
07-20-2022, 11:50 AM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

A man goes for a walk in the park. On his...

A man goes for a walk in the park.

On his walk, he sees two men sat on a park bench and looking very down.

“What’s wrong?” He asked them.

One of the men looks up at the man and lets out a...
Forum: Humor
07-19-2022, 12:11 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation A Georgia State trooper pulled a car over on I-75...

A Georgia State trooper pulled a car over on I-75 about 2 miles north of Macon.

When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his...
Forum: Humor
07-19-2022, 12:04 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

info Many years ago there lived a very poor fisherman ...

Many years ago there lived a very poor fisherman

One day, he has an especially good haul and earned a glistening gold coin. Elated but afraid to lose it, he decided he'd hide his treasure in the...
Forum: Humor
07-10-2022, 12:40 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Unhappy Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Mustang...

Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Mustang east on I-20 toward Georgia.

When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over quickly.

The rookie trooper pulled in behind...
Forum: Humor
07-09-2022, 01:24 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

info A local bar was so sure that its barman was the...

A local bar was so sure that its barman was the strongest man in the Village that they offered a standing $3000 bet.

The barman would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out and challenge any...
Forum: Humor
07-02-2022, 01:08 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

An elderly couple go to church one Sunday....

An elderly couple go to church one Sunday. Halfway through the service, the wife leans over and whispers in her husbands ear, "I've just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"

The...
Forum: Humor
07-02-2022, 01:07 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Red face A little boy came home from the playground with a...

A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing.

It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his...
Forum: Humor
07-01-2022, 12:47 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow A pirate walked into a bar. He had a wooden...

A pirate walked into a bar.

He had a wooden leg, an eye patch and a hook for a hand. The bartender was curious.

"How did you get that wooden leg?" he asked.

The pirate took a swig of ale....
Forum: Humor
07-01-2022, 12:45 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Talking The teacher wants her students to express their...

The teacher wants her students to express their love to their mother, so she asks them to create a sentence with the phrase "There is only one mom".

It's the first student's time, and he answers...
Forum: Humor
06-29-2022, 11:32 AM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

info Supposedly a ranger at Yosemite NP, when...

Supposedly a ranger at Yosemite NP, when commenting on the difficulty of designing a perfect garbage bin to keep bears from breaking in to it, replied, "There is considerable overlap between the...
Forum: Humor
06-28-2022, 12:50 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Angry A New Yorker Asks for a Cab Ride to Chicago ...

A New Yorker Asks for a Cab Ride to Chicago

A man gets in a cab at 33rd St. and Park Ave. and says, "I need to get to the Palmer House."

The cabbie says, "The Palmer House Hotel?"

The man...
Forum: Humor
06-27-2022, 12:36 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review My husband was out of town for work and I was...

My husband was out of town for work and I was left to tend to myself...

He asked me not to call during working hours unless it was an emergency, but I wasn't sure what car trouble would be...
Forum: Humor
06-26-2022, 12:13 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Red face A man with a dog walks into a bar in New Jersey. ...

A man with a dog walks into a bar in New Jersey.

He says to the barman, "This dog can talk."

The bartender replies, "What? Get outta here."

The man with the dog then says, "It's true, I...
Forum: Humor
06-26-2022, 12:12 PM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb The Police are on the lookout for two men whom...

The Police are on the lookout for two men whom they allege stole the police station toilet...

They say there is very little evidence, and they have nothing to go on...
Forum: Humor
06-24-2022, 11:45 AM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb On a visit to New York, an Englishman and a...

On a visit to New York, an Englishman and a Scotsman go to a pastry shop.

The Englishman whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice.

The Englishman says...
Forum: Humor
06-24-2022, 11:34 AM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

A man down on his luck went to an oracle and...

A man down on his luck went to an oracle and asked him to tell him the numbers that will change his life.

The oracle took his glass orb, searched the man's future and told him “The numbers I see...
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:40 AM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review Two blondes were on a plane to New York. ...

Two blondes were on a plane to New York.

About two hours into the flight, the pilot speaks over the intercom, "Attention ladies and gentlemen, we appear to have burst one of our engines. No need...
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:36 AM
Replies: 70
Yep
Views: 984
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation Two guys from New York go on a cross-country trip...

Two guys from New York go on a cross-country trip and end up walking into a bar in Kansas.

After a few too many drinks, one of the guys asks the bartender, "Hey, can you tell us how to go cow...
Showing results 1 to 30 of 69
 


 
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