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Humor Have some funny jokes or stories? All is fair game except political, religious or too explicit.

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Old 08-25-2014, 08:30 PM   #1
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Default NJSwede vs. the boar (true story)

GlacierGirl's story (http://www.wattflyer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=74352) about the near gator attack reminded me of something that happened to me about 15 years ago. I didn't want to hijack his thread, so I'm posting it here.

Many years ago, I used to live in southern France. My former wife's parents had a nice house with a swimming pool and I was hanging out on a lazy Sunday. My ex and her parents were going to town and were going to be away for a few hours and I was left alone on a wonderful sunny Provencal afternoon. Time for a swim! But alas, I had no swimwear, so I decided to get in the pool, shall we say, the way God created me. After all, the pool area was completely surrounded by palm trees and the closest neighbor was a quarter mile away.

I was swimming in my birthday suit for a while but finally got tired of the pool and went to dry off in the sun. I must have dozed off, because the next thing I remember is a loud "OINK OINK!". And there, a few feet away from me, was a huge wild boar. As you probably know, those guys are pretty mean and can easily kill a person. So I started running, and running, the boar took me away from the pool area, into an open yard and close to some of the neighbors. I must have mustered super-human strengths, because after a couple of minutes, I had made a large loop around the yard and had put enough space between me and the boar that I was able to safely get into the house.

To this day, I don't know if anyone saw me. But I kind of hope they did. A very scared naked guy running from a boar must be quite a sight and it would be a waste if no one got to enjoy it!

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Old 08-26-2014, 12:16 AM   #2
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I had a somewhat similar experience, but not in my birthday suit. I was fishing along one of the estuaries in the Banana River near Cape Canaveral back in the 90's. Mostly fishing along the bank, but occasionally would wade out in areas that were shallow in order to reach some deeper holes where the fish were.

One day I was out walking along the bank, and all of a sudden I came up on a whole group of wild boar rutting around the bank. Seems they're pretty prevalent out there as it's mostly preserve, no civilization build up. Well, let me tell you, I almost walked on water to get away from them when they charged!

I stayed out in the water for a lot longer than usual that day.

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