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Old 06-26-2022, 12:16 PM
  #51  
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My wife bought us an avengers puzzle to do together.. I said great. We can put some music on, have a few drinks, and assemble the avengers.
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Old 06-27-2022, 12:34 PM
  #52  
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Wink

I never called you stupid. But when I asked you to spell "orange" and you asked if I meant the color or the fruit, it kinda caught me off guard.
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Old 06-28-2022, 12:53 PM
  #53  
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Have you noticed, if you Google the phrase "Lost Medieval Servant Boy. "It comes back with, "This page could not be found."
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Old 06-29-2022, 11:34 AM
  #54  
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I believe pencils are superior to pens, especially for filling out crossword puzzles. Does that make me erasist?
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Old 07-01-2022, 12:42 PM
  #55  
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My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
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Old 07-02-2022, 01:04 PM
  #56  
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If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
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Old 07-09-2022, 01:26 PM
  #57  
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Celery; for those times that you have an overwhelming urge to bite into water with hair in it.
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Old 07-11-2022, 10:45 AM
  #58  
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The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself, ‘This changes everything.’
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Old 07-19-2022, 12:08 PM
  #59  
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Red face

I put my grandma on speed dial the other day. I call it insta-gram.
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Old 07-20-2022, 11:51 AM
  #60  
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My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
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Old 07-25-2022, 12:44 PM
  #61  
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What do you call a factory that makes pretty good products? A satisfactory.

Why do Seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be called Bagels.

Did you hear about the two radio attenaes that got married? The wedding wasn't much but the reception was great.

When is the best time to visit your dentist? At 2:30.
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Old 07-25-2022, 12:47 PM
  #62  
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Why did the Cowboy get a miniature dachshund for a pet? He wanted to get a long little doggie.

Do you know what a tuba player needs in order to fix a broken tuba? A tuba glue.
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Old 07-27-2022, 01:01 PM
  #63  
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What European city has the most insects? Antwerp!
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Old 07-27-2022, 01:07 PM
  #64  
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What do you call a pig with three eyes? Piiig
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Old 07-29-2022, 11:51 AM
  #65  
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Some minds are like concrete... Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
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Old 07-29-2022, 11:55 AM
  #66  
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I know blond jokes are popular, but I just don't get why...

I bought a toaster from a Star Wars fan the other day. The first test was a little on the dark side.

Apple have just launched a new customer satisfaction app. iRate.
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Old 08-05-2022, 12:37 PM
  #67  
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Sign at the Urologist's office: URINE good hands.
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Old 08-08-2022, 12:04 PM
  #68  
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Paranoia has reached absurd stages...I sneezed in front of my laptop and the anti-virus started a scan on its own
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Old 08-15-2022, 12:20 PM
  #69  
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Food prices are getting so high, I had to put this weeks order of potato chips on Lays away.
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Old 08-15-2022, 12:21 PM
  #70  
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Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are.
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Old 08-15-2022, 11:36 PM
  #71  
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Originally Posted by Don Sims View Post
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are.
That would be very telling in my case
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Old 08-17-2022, 12:06 PM
  #72  
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In dinosaur culture, it's considered really insensitive to wish upon a falling star....
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Old 08-20-2022, 11:51 AM
  #73  
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Wink

What do you call a dog with a telephone? I don't know, check the collar ID.
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Old 08-22-2022, 12:52 PM
  #74  
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I recently realized I'm too old to die young!
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Old 08-25-2022, 11:44 AM
  #75  
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A photographer had the lens fall off his camera. He was fined for indecent exposure.
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