Science question
#101

The guru was happily teaching math to the students at his home. He said:
"5 sides --> pentagon"
"6 sides -->hexagon"
"8 sides -->octagon"
.....then suddenly, the guru suffered a heart attack, fell onto the ground making a loud "thud" sound, and died on the spot.
Hearing the sound, his wife came running from the other room and asked, "What happened ?"
The students said, "Gurugon."
"5 sides --> pentagon"
"6 sides -->hexagon"
"8 sides -->octagon"
.....then suddenly, the guru suffered a heart attack, fell onto the ground making a loud "thud" sound, and died on the spot.
Hearing the sound, his wife came running from the other room and asked, "What happened ?"
The students said, "Gurugon."
#102

Have you ever thought about the range of words which have a Grecian root?
There are lots of such words in mathematics, like "geometry".
Some of these words have an interesting derivation.
A contemporary of Pythagoras was watching a parrot playing with some twigs, once upon a time. Although birds often play with twigs and leaves and branches, this parrot, to the mathematician's amazement, actually arranged the pieces of wood into some sort of a pattern. Then, unfortunately, the bird keeled over, dead.
The mathematician was so moved that he named the shape, "Dead parrot," although -- of course -- he said it in Greek.
Which is why we call that shape a polygon.
There are lots of such words in mathematics, like "geometry".
Some of these words have an interesting derivation.
A contemporary of Pythagoras was watching a parrot playing with some twigs, once upon a time. Although birds often play with twigs and leaves and branches, this parrot, to the mathematician's amazement, actually arranged the pieces of wood into some sort of a pattern. Then, unfortunately, the bird keeled over, dead.
The mathematician was so moved that he named the shape, "Dead parrot," although -- of course -- he said it in Greek.
Which is why we call that shape a polygon.
#103

Three gentleman who excel in their respective fields are invited to compete in a competition. Competing are: a top Engineer, a shrewd Businessman, and an award-winning Mathematician. The judges, in turn ask each gentleman to fence in a herd of cattle using the shortest length of fence.
The engineer goes first. He takes out a large sheet of graph paper, and maps out the outermost foot of each of the outermost cows. He then measures exactly how much fence is required to create a polygon around the herd, and erects the fence. He is particularly pleased with his job, and has used only 451.39m of fence.
Next it is the businessman's turn. He takes a long length of fence, and quickly runs it around the herd with no particular care. He then uses all his strength to tighten, and tighten, and tighten until all of the cows are squished together nearly on top of one another. The cows are clearly in extreme pain, but he has completed his task, and done so using only 110m of fence.
The judges are revolted by the sight, but admit that it seems the businessman has won, as the cows could not be fenced in any tighter. Nonetheless, it is only fair to give the mathematician a turn.
At this point, the mathematician has wandered off solving differential equations or trying to prove P =/= NP, but eventually they find him, and explain the rules.
The mathematician thinks for a few seconds, then grabs 2 meters of fence.
He wraps it around himself and declares, "I'm on the outside."
The engineer goes first. He takes out a large sheet of graph paper, and maps out the outermost foot of each of the outermost cows. He then measures exactly how much fence is required to create a polygon around the herd, and erects the fence. He is particularly pleased with his job, and has used only 451.39m of fence.
Next it is the businessman's turn. He takes a long length of fence, and quickly runs it around the herd with no particular care. He then uses all his strength to tighten, and tighten, and tighten until all of the cows are squished together nearly on top of one another. The cows are clearly in extreme pain, but he has completed his task, and done so using only 110m of fence.
The judges are revolted by the sight, but admit that it seems the businessman has won, as the cows could not be fenced in any tighter. Nonetheless, it is only fair to give the mathematician a turn.
At this point, the mathematician has wandered off solving differential equations or trying to prove P =/= NP, but eventually they find him, and explain the rules.
The mathematician thinks for a few seconds, then grabs 2 meters of fence.
He wraps it around himself and declares, "I'm on the outside."
#105

A mysterious force dragged a pirate ship closer to the Bermuda Triangle, alarming the captain.
The captain asked the lookout in the the crow's nest what he saw.
The lookout replied, "Captain, we be sailing tangent to stormy seas. It be a sine the secant be good."
The captain responded, "Aye, the sea put this here crew in a triggy situation."
The captain asked the lookout in the the crow's nest what he saw.
The lookout replied, "Captain, we be sailing tangent to stormy seas. It be a sine the secant be good."
The captain responded, "Aye, the sea put this here crew in a triggy situation."
#107

A horse walks into a bar and says, “On a right-angled triangle with sides X, Y and Z, if X and Z are perpendicular, which side is opposite the right angle?”
The bartender says, “Y, long face.”
The bartender says, “Y, long face.”
#113

A mathematician and a physicist were arguing over whose field of study was better. They decided to settle the argument by posing questions.
The mathematician went first, and posed a complicated mathematical problem. With a great deal of effort, several books of mathematical tables and techniques, and a few hours, the physicist gave the solved problem to the mathematician, who was duly impressed.
"All right, my turn. Here's the problem: you have a pot of water on the stove, at 60° F. You want to heat it up to 70° F. What do you do?"
The mathematician replied, "Oh, that's easy. You turn the stove on. Fourier's equations govern how heat transfers from the stove to the pot, and you can solve them numerically to find out how long it takes for the water to reach 70° F."
The physicist then asks, "All right, so what if the water's at 65° F?"
"Oh, that's even easier. You take the pot of water, stick it in the refrigerator until it cools down to 60° F, and then it simplifies to the previous problem!"
The mathematician went first, and posed a complicated mathematical problem. With a great deal of effort, several books of mathematical tables and techniques, and a few hours, the physicist gave the solved problem to the mathematician, who was duly impressed.
"All right, my turn. Here's the problem: you have a pot of water on the stove, at 60° F. You want to heat it up to 70° F. What do you do?"
The mathematician replied, "Oh, that's easy. You turn the stove on. Fourier's equations govern how heat transfers from the stove to the pot, and you can solve them numerically to find out how long it takes for the water to reach 70° F."
The physicist then asks, "All right, so what if the water's at 65° F?"
"Oh, that's even easier. You take the pot of water, stick it in the refrigerator until it cools down to 60° F, and then it simplifies to the previous problem!"
#114

It's finals week and the only question on the test is "what is 2+2?"
A philosophy major writes a long eloquent response but doesn't bother to actually answer the question.
A math major makes a formal proof that 2=2 and that addition is commutative before using the squeeze theorem to prove that 4≤2+2≤4.
An engineering major knows the answer is 4 but writes down 5 just to be safe.
A philosophy major writes a long eloquent response but doesn't bother to actually answer the question.
A math major makes a formal proof that 2=2 and that addition is commutative before using the squeeze theorem to prove that 4≤2+2≤4.
An engineering major knows the answer is 4 but writes down 5 just to be safe.
#115

A friend of mine thinks that Isaac Newton is joke and was never born.
I told him that Newton was very important for inventing the laws of motion and calculus (which I wish he never had). He still didn't get how important he is in history.
I guess he didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
I told him that Newton was very important for inventing the laws of motion and calculus (which I wish he never had). He still didn't get how important he is in history.
I guess he didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
#117

What is Science?
Simply said, Science is about making a prediction and then try to prove it.
So:
If I theorize that "There is Beer in the fridge!" and then proceed to look in the fridge for said beer, it is considered science.
If I theorize that "There is beer in the fridge!" and don't look, because I believe there is beer there, it is considered Religion.
If I say "There is beer in the fridge!" , proceed to look, don't find any, and still say "There is beer in the fridge!", it is considered Esoteric.
If I say "There is beer in the fridge!", go and open the fridge, take out the milk, and say "This has the same effect because there Was beer adjacent to it", it is homeopathy.
Simply said, Science is about making a prediction and then try to prove it.
So:
If I theorize that "There is Beer in the fridge!" and then proceed to look in the fridge for said beer, it is considered science.
If I theorize that "There is beer in the fridge!" and don't look, because I believe there is beer there, it is considered Religion.
If I say "There is beer in the fridge!" , proceed to look, don't find any, and still say "There is beer in the fridge!", it is considered Esoteric.
If I say "There is beer in the fridge!", go and open the fridge, take out the milk, and say "This has the same effect because there Was beer adjacent to it", it is homeopathy.
#118

"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework."
Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."
Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."
#119

As part of an experiment, a crab was brought to the International Space Station to study the effects of long-term isolation.
At first, the astronauts were surprised to find the animal seemed to enjoy the time alone.
But then, they realized it was a hermit crab.
At first, the astronauts were surprised to find the animal seemed to enjoy the time alone.
But then, they realized it was a hermit crab.
#121

Speaking of rock stars, here's a list of the latest hits:
Cosmic Dust in the Wind
Drops of Jupiter
Ain't no Mons High Enough
It's Still Rock and Gas to Me
Asteroids Keep Falling on my Head
Elements in the Sky
We Didn't Start the Thermonuclear Synthesis
Free Fallin'
Shine On You Hazy Planet
Venus
Outshined
Intergalactic Planetary
Cygnus X-1
Cosmic Dust in the Wind
Drops of Jupiter
Ain't no Mons High Enough
It's Still Rock and Gas to Me
Asteroids Keep Falling on my Head
Elements in the Sky
We Didn't Start the Thermonuclear Synthesis
Free Fallin'
Shine On You Hazy Planet
Venus
Outshined
Intergalactic Planetary
Cygnus X-1
#125

A geologist was driving down a country road when he saw this beautiful rock formation. He pulled over to get a closer look. As he was admiring the rock, an old farmer drove up. The geologist asked if he knew how long the rock had been here.
The farmer says "in fact, I do! It's a million and 7 years old"
The geologist stunned a bit says "that's oddly specific, how do you know that?"
The farmer goes "well, another feller like you came to look at this same rock and he said it was a million years old. And that was about 7 years ago"
The farmer says "in fact, I do! It's a million and 7 years old"
The geologist stunned a bit says "that's oddly specific, how do you know that?"
The farmer goes "well, another feller like you came to look at this same rock and he said it was a million years old. And that was about 7 years ago"