I might be a Redneck because....
07-30-2007, 04:39 PM
#1
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I might be a Redneck because....
I knew that moving to the south held certain risks. The assumption that all southerners are rednecks, no matter where you're from.
I had hoped I was safe. I was born and raised in Massachussettes. A full bore yankee. I thought I was safe, I don't have a southern drawl. I knew I was safe, I don't eat grits!
I was wrong.....
Yesterday a friend from NH sent me one of those emails, with all the pictures and captions. This one was funny redneck pictures.
It had the Redneck Birthday Cake....
It had Redneck Autobody Work...
It had a Redneck Church Sign...
A redneck church sign? Hey, WAIT A MINUTE!!! I recognize that church sign.....
I drive by it nearly every day for work. I took this picture this morning. (sorry about the pose, I wasn't doing a redneck dance, I only have a 2 second timer on the camera.)
OH NOOOOOO! I MUST be a redneck!!!
I had hoped I was safe. I was born and raised in Massachussettes. A full bore yankee. I thought I was safe, I don't have a southern drawl. I knew I was safe, I don't eat grits!
I was wrong.....
Yesterday a friend from NH sent me one of those emails, with all the pictures and captions. This one was funny redneck pictures.
It had the Redneck Birthday Cake....
It had Redneck Autobody Work...
It had a Redneck Church Sign...
A redneck church sign? Hey, WAIT A MINUTE!!! I recognize that church sign.....
I drive by it nearly every day for work. I took this picture this morning. (sorry about the pose, I wasn't doing a redneck dance, I only have a 2 second timer on the camera.)
OH NOOOOOO! I MUST be a redneck!!!
07-30-2007, 06:00 PM
#5
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Originally Posted by brnyrbbl
I'm not sure rednecks own or even know how to operate a camera so I think you still are safe. The fact you know how to use the auto-timer further proves the case. 
07-30-2007, 06:10 PM
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Originally Posted by aviatordave
I think everybody has a little bit in them.. We all have added hamburger to our macaroni & cheese...right? chased it down with a Milwaukees Best?
**btw, I add chili to mac'n'cheese
07-30-2007, 06:14 PM
#10
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Originally Posted by aviatordave
I think everybody has a little bit in them.. We all have added hamburger to our macaroni & cheese...right? chased it down with a Milwaukees Best?
Yep, hamburger and tomato sauce. Redneck's goulash! Yum Yum.
07-30-2007, 06:14 PM
#11
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Originally Posted by aviatordave
I think everybody has a little bit in them.. We all have added hamburger to our macaroni & cheese...right? chased it down with a Milwaukees Best?
What are you nuts!??
Milwaukees Best is for cooking the brats before grilling.
(you drink the better beer)
07-30-2007, 06:15 PM
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Originally Posted by brnyrbbl
Another way to tell if you aren't is if you have more teeth in your mouth than fingers on one hand (including missing fingers too).
He IS a redneck, admittedly so. He IS missing half a thumb, and he....
and I am telling the truth, I swear
just had his teeth in a cup.
I walked out there a moment ago, and he had his upper and lower dentures in a coffee cup.
07-30-2007, 06:20 PM
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Probably my favorite movie quote of all time....
There ain't enough whiskey in Georgia to get me drunk enough.
How drunk is drunk enough, Captain Junuh?
Good question. Sit over here, I'll tell you what drunk enough is.
Aaron, can you find the young man a bottle of Nehi?
I expect I could...
...just as long as I takes my money with me.
Now the question on the table...
...is how drunk is drunk enough?
And the answer is, it's all a matter of brain cells.
Brain cells?
That's right. Every drink of liquor you take kills brain cells.
But that don't matter, we got billions more.
First the sadness cells die, so you smile real big.
Then the quiet cells go, so you talk real loud for no reason at all.
That's okay, because the stupid cells go next...
...so everything you say is real smart.
And finally...
...come the memory cells.
These are tough sons of *****es to kill.
There ain't enough whiskey in Georgia to get me drunk enough.
How drunk is drunk enough, Captain Junuh?
Good question. Sit over here, I'll tell you what drunk enough is.
Aaron, can you find the young man a bottle of Nehi?
I expect I could...
...just as long as I takes my money with me.
Now the question on the table...
...is how drunk is drunk enough?
And the answer is, it's all a matter of brain cells.
Brain cells?
That's right. Every drink of liquor you take kills brain cells.
But that don't matter, we got billions more.
First the sadness cells die, so you smile real big.
Then the quiet cells go, so you talk real loud for no reason at all.
That's okay, because the stupid cells go next...
...so everything you say is real smart.
And finally...
...come the memory cells.
These are tough sons of *****es to kill.
07-30-2007, 08:47 PM
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07-30-2007, 08:49 PM
#23
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Originally Posted by FlyingMonkey
07-30-2007, 09:02 PM
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there IS a decimal point in there.
they take more of a beating than any baseball, football, or basketball player who is making ten times as much....
but then again, what idiot really wants to ride an angry bull?
they take more of a beating than any baseball, football, or basketball player who is making ten times as much....
but then again, what idiot really wants to ride an angry bull?
