Don Sims

To his wife, who's feverishly pecking at the keyboard, "Honey, you've GOT to stop!"

"What do you mean?"

"You been getting 5 packages delivered every day. And each box has the SAME THING in them every time!"

"I can't stop. I've got Obsessive Compulsive Reorder..."

Don Sims

New books just out:

"Good Reasons to Panic" by Aaron Fire

"How to measure Electric power" by Ivy Watts

"Sausage Making" by Brad Wurst and Frank Furter, with a forward by Lincoln Shire.

Don Sims

A man was at the golf course recently with a Gorilla he claimed could play the game. The local golf-pro finally agreed to play a round with the Gorilla and to make it interesting bet a thousand dollars on the game.

They get to the first tee and the pro hits a very nice drive. The Gorilla tees up and hits the ball. WAM! It sails down the fairway 350 yards and lands on the green within a few inches of the hole. The pro looks at where is, then at the Gorilla, back and forth a few times shaking his head. He finally reaches into his pocket and hands the money to the trainer telling him the Gorilla is amazing and a far better player than the pro is.

On the way back to the club house the pro casually asks how well the Gorilla putt. The trainer sadly shakes his head answering "The same way he drives, 350 yards!"

Panther

Good one. Obsessive compulsive re-order. I must try that... LOL

Abuelo

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant when the man suddenly slipped down from his chair and slid under the table.

The waiter came running up, "Madam, your husband just slipped under the table!"

"No, he didn't," she replied. "My husband just walked in the front door."