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The Hunting Accident

Old 06-28-2011, 12:32 AM
Don Sims
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Red face The Hunting Accident

So this guy was hunting, see, when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.
"Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage & we were able to remove all of the buckshot."

"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.

"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your willy which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."

"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"

"Not exactly answered the doctor. She's a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra and she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't urinate in your eye."
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Old 06-28-2011, 04:01 AM
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Old 06-28-2011, 04:21 AM
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Ugh -- I can literally feel that guy's pain...

Can't you give us some kind of warning or something?
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Old 06-28-2011, 07:34 AM
Look out for that tree!!!
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Old 06-28-2011, 12:47 PM
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Default I wanna be a gunfighter

LOL, made me dizzy

There was a young man out west back in the day. As a kid, he always dreamed of growing up to be the best and fastest gunfighter in the west. He finally saved enough money and bought himself a new gun and holster. Feeling like he was invincible, he went into town looking for some action. He walked down the middle of the street and looked over and saw an old man sitting on the porch of the saloon. Hey, he thought, thats a famous old gunfighter. He walked over to the old man and told him his ambitions. He asked him if he had any suggestions. The old man looked up with oje eye, spit into the bucket and said "Look at your holster, you cant use that". The young man said " but its brand new, whats wrong with it?"
The old man told him to get some string to tie it to his leg so it doesnt move around. The kid did just that walked out in the street and shot the decorative wood balls from the porch decorations and asked the old man, " how was that?"
The old man said, being good is all about being quick too, you have to get that gun out fast". you are good but look at your holster, take a pocket knife and cut out there where the hammer is. The kid realized the wisdom if this and cut the leather away. He pulled the gun a couple times and realized the wisdom of the old man. The kid looked into the saloon and there was a guy playing the piano. The kid whipped out his gun and shot the cufflinks off the piano player. he asked the old man, " well do you have any more suggestions?" The old man told him," see that can of cooking grease ove r there?"
the kid says yes> Take that and rub it all over your gun, the kid rubbed the grease all over the barrel of the gun and said " hows this?" The old man said more, put it all over the gun, the grip too. The kid began wiping the grease all over the gun and as he began rubbing it on the grip too he asked the old man, " wait, why the grip too?" The old man says, " thats Wyatt Earp in there that was playing the piano, when he comes out here and sticks that gun up your ass, you'll be glad you greased all of it.
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